Friday, January 30, 2004

Subject: Kanjibhai buys a hearing aid

Kanjibhai realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but he
felt unwilling to spend much money. "How much do they cost?" he asked the salesperson.

"That depends," he said. "They run from $2.00 to $2,000."

"Let's see the $2.00 model," said Kanjibhai .

The salesperson put the device around Kanjibhais' neck. "You just
stick this ordinary wine cork in your ear and run this little string down to your pocket," he instructed.

"How does it work?" , asked Kanjibhai .

"For $2.00 it doesn't work," the salesperson replied. "But
when people see it on you, they'll talk louder."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A family was having some people to dinner.
At the table, the mother turned to her six-year-old daughter and said,
"Dear, would you like to say the blessing?"
"I wouldn't know what to say," replied the little girl, shyly.
"Just say what you hear Mommy say, sweetie," the woman said.
Her daughter took a deep breath, bowed her head, and solemnly said,
"Dear Lord, why the hell did I invite all these people to dinner!?!"


Thursday, January 29, 2004

Today's quotes

Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.
William James

The self is not something ready-made, but something in continuous formation through choice of action.
John Dewey

Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire, you will what you imagine and at last you create what you will.
George Bernard Shaw

there is a virus in emails

It sends email with the following details:

Subject: (any of the following)
. Error
. Status
. Server Report
. Mail Transaction Failed
. Mail Delivery System
. hello
. hi
so avoid using the above in ur mails in subject.


This is something I came across..... found it really cool !! Some dilbertism for you

10 commandments for 'working hard':

1. Never walk without a document in your hands:
People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they're heading for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do;


2. Use computers to look busy:
Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, chat and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren't exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about but they're not bad either. When you get caught by your boss - and you *will* get caught - your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training dollars;


3. Messy desk:
Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like we're not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workspace. To the observer, last year's work looks the same as today's work; it's volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives;


4. Voice Mail:
Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don't call you just because they want to give you something for nothing - they call because they want YOU to do work for THEM. That's no way to live. Screen all your calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice mail message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour when you know they're not there - it looks like you're hardworking and conscientious even though you're being a devious weasel;

5. Looking Impatient and Annoyed:
According to George Costanza, one should also always try to look impatient and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that you are always busy.

6. Leave the office late:
Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around. You could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read but have no time until late before leaving. Make sure you walk past the boss' room on your way out. Send important emails at unearthly hours (e.g. 9:35pm, 7:05am, etc.) and during public holidays;

7. Creative Sighing for Effect:
Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are under extreme pressure;

8. Stacking Strategy:
It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of books on the floor etc. (thick computer manuals are the best);

9. Build Vocabulary:
Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new products. Use the phrases freely when in conversation with bosses. Remember: They don't have to understand what you say, but you sure sound impressive.

10. MOST IMPORTANT:
DON'T send this to your boss by mistake!!!

Wednesday, January 28, 2004

hi dont give subject as" hi "avoid it

kanna

hi

how are you?

kanna

SLEEPING ON IT REALLY DOES HELP YOU SOLVE A PROBLEM
A GOOD night's sleep could give you the answer you've been looking
for, reports Ullrich Wagner's team at the University of Lubeck in
Germany.

During sleep, we subconsciously sift through recent memories, which
may throw up answers to problems we faced during the day, Wagner
suggests. "We think the strongest explanation is that sleep acts on
the patterns created during training, restructuring them to give
insights to the hidden rule." Wagner thinks the best way to ensure a
problem is "dealt with" during sleep might be to mull it over just
before bedtime.

The team decided to investigate the phenomenon after reading many
anecdotes about people waking with the solution to their problems.
The Russian chemist Dmitri Mendelyev, for instance, said he devised
the periodic table after he had a dream where all the elements fell
down into the right positions.

Tuesday, January 27, 2004

The Ant Philosophy by Jim Rohn

Over the years I've been teaching kids about a simple but powerful concept - the ant philosophy. I think everybody should study ants. They have an amazing four-part philosophy, and here is the first part: ants never quit. That's a good philosophy. If they're headed somewhere and you try to stop them; they'll look for another way. They'll climb over, they'll climb under, they'll climb around. They keep looking for another way. What a neat philosophy, to never quit looking for a way to get where you're supposed to go.

Second, ants think winter all summer. That's an important perspective. You can't be so naive as to think summer will last forever. So ants are gathering in their winter food in the middle of summer.

An ancient story says, "Don't build your house on the sand in the summer." Why do we need that advice? Because it is important to think ahead. In the summer, you've got to think storm. You've got to think rocks as you enjoy the sand and sun.

The third part of the ant philosophy is that ants think summer all winter. That is so important. During the winter, ants remind themselves, "This won't last long; we'll soon be out of here." And the first warm day, the ants are out. If it turns cold again, they'll dive back down, but then they come out the first warm day. They can't wait to get out.

And here's the last part of the ant philosophy. How much will an ant gather during the summer to prepare for the winter? All that he possibly can. What an incredible philosophy, the "all-that-you-possibly-can" philosophy.

Wow, what a great philosophy to have - the ant philosophy. Never give up, look ahead, stay positive and do all you can.

hi everbody how are you?

Monday, January 26, 2004

i have created this blog to tell my views